Podcast!!!
I’ve finally converted my blog posts into podcast episodes! Right now, its auto-generated, so it may be weird. Eventually, I will record myself reading it. Maybe. Lol! I am obsessed with podcasts, so this is a bit exciting for me. It will be available soon on all podcast platforms, but for now you can add it using a URL with this link or add it on Spotify with this link. I’ve added by URL on Apple, and have instructions on my Home Page. I will update whenever it changes and/or I learn more. Let me know what you think! I could choose a man’s voice or a woman’s voice. This is a weird thing about me, but once I publish a post, I don’t read it again, so I don’t listen to the podcast episodes either. It’s just weird to me! Also, I have an anxiety disorder and OCD, so nothing is ever good enough to me. Sooo…… Please, give me feedback!!!
Random Thoughts…
We have been taking pictures and videoing the progesterone shots (called PIO in the fertility world). Because this doesn’t change much and we are doing this every evening until 10 weeks pregnant, I haven’t been adding these to my posts. If you want to see these, I will gladly start adding them! It’s just very repetitive. We are mostly documenting for ourselves. What I am thinking I will probably do is just make a Google Photos album shareable or something. WordPress has limits on how much media you can have with the free version. I’m kind of just thinking while blogging.
Another thing…people that have donated to us. I feel really weird about saying something on social media. I want to do a “thank you” post, but I don’t want to tag everyone. You never know. I’ve thought about tagging them in the comments so it doesn’t show on their page, but it’s still public. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but I want to respect these people but I also want to shout out their support! If you have an opinion or guidance, please comment!
P.S. Can you tell my overthinking is clinical?!? 🤣
Cash Money
HEY! Must be the monay!
Sorry…had to! Lol! I haven’t talked much about money. With us taking out the loan, I’m not really stressed about it. We are still doing out Puzzle Fundraiser, and we are about halfway to that goal. The money that is donated is being moved to an account only for IVF purposes. The loan is super long term and high interest, so as soon as everything is paid off at OU, I will put whatever donations toward the loan. I was expecting OU to be super strict on payment and such, but it’s been a little weird. We definitely had to pay for our “package”, so everything included in that, obviously I don’t worry about. But for example, the cryogenic freezing of our embryos is not included and is listed as $800. I thought we would have to pay that on the day of the transfer, but it STILL hasn’t been billed. The egg retrieval, which was 4/28, was only added on 5/6. I paid $500 early, not knowing they don’t like prepay unless it’s for the “package” and when that’s due. So I have a credit and some charges from before IVF. So I’m waiting for all of that to clear before paying anything. While money isn’t an issue or struggle, it’s still on my mind. Especially with an added monthly bill. I will update our total costs when all of that clears as well.
How I’m Doing
We are now 7 days past transfer, or in TTC/IVF lingo, we are 7dp5dt. LOL! Since transfer, I have just been exhausted. No amount of sleep helps. I have to remind myself every minute, basically, the crazy that my body has endured in the last 20+ days. Last night, when trying to fall asleep, my uterus area was throbbing. Not like pain or anything, but like I could feel blood pumping there more. If that makes sense. Again, I’m trying not to think too much into ANY feeling, symptom, etc, but that was something I hadn’t experienced before. My butt, where the PIO shots go, hurts and is bruised pretty bad. Bruises on my butt are worse to avoid than the belly ones, so….super fun. That’s pretty much everything about how I’ve been feeling.
Another thing that has been on my mind is the fact that we have been so open since finding out we had to move onto IVF. While I’m happy to do so (OBVI), it does pose some not fun things. I can’t hide the negative like I was able to before. I would only tell people that asked. I can’t hide the positive. I’m concerned about miscarriage once we finally get pregnant, and always have been, but there is increased risk with IVF. So we will be finding out at 4 weeks pregnant 🤞 and then having our first ultrasound at 6.5 or 7 weeks. I don’t want to hide either way because everyone has been so amazing during this and my whole point has been to be transparent about the process. Sharing our result, no matter what, is part of my purpose. It just sucks, either way. I still feel so protective of our infertility journey. Can you believe it?! I have how many blog posts?! It makes no sense, I know. But all of those things that I have shared that I feel because of infertility are still there and I am still fighting. That doesn’t go away. If anything, be encouraged that I STILL struggle with feeling inadequate and lesser than because of infertility. I know it doesn’t define me or my worth, but at times, it’s really hard to believe that.
Now for some happy…I got us a frame for our embaby picture! It makes me smile SO MUCH!!!! I never knew I could love a bunch of cells so much. 3 more sleeps until we find out how our embaby is doing!!!
Ryan’s Ramblings 