Well, I clearly suck at remembering to post. My last post was at 11 weeks pregnant with baby #2. Well, Baby #2 is now 14 months old. Hazel Ann was born at 37 weeks 1 day on January 29th, 2024. I will have to update on her and basically 2 years worth of updates at another time. lol!
Yesterday was my mock transfer and HSG for Baby #3–our final embryo transfer. Tuesday is our baseline appointment, and if all goes well, I will be starting meds on Friday the 11th. Our transfer is scheduled for May 2nd, with May 14th being test day. I have many, many feelings about this being our last embryo and SO MUCH anxiety. My OBGYN does not suggest going through an entire IVF cycle again, given my medical history and age. Our fertility doctor said that if this last embryo doesn’t stick that they would bring me in for some tests to look at my ovarian reserve before talking about next steps, should we want to peruse any. Of course, this is all about being positive and having hope. So I am trying not to think of the what ifs.
So, I found a pretty cool product on Instagram. It is the IVF kit from Dandi Fertility. It can be found here: https://dandifertility.com/products/the-kit I am super impressed with this product. I am now a micro-influencer for them. I really don’t know what that means, but I do have a discount code. For anyone wanting to purchase the kit, use code ryan_lynn at checkout and get $15 off. You can use your FSA/HSA to purchase it too! I really want to purchase it and I am going to try to. We pay for our FET (frozen embryo transfer) on Tuesday, so I am needing to see if we have enough to make this purchase. The kit is wonderful for anyone going through IVF though—stims to PIOs! I wish this product would have existed 4 years ago when we did our cycle.
There has been a lot of life and a LOT of world happening since August 2023 (my last post). Regardless of our 2 beautiful baby girls, infertility continues to have a stronghold on our lives. Before getting married, we agreed to have as many kids as we could afford. Little did we know that would mean how many we could afford to attempt to make. I am very nervous for this transfer, knowing it is our last embryo. Knowing that we want one more. Knowing that our family isn’t quite complete. I feel selfish, like we are pushing our luck too much. I feel ungrateful, like our 2 baby girls aren’t enough. But that’s not it. Infertility has taken the full joy of building our family. With the joy comes guilt, shame, embarrassment. I feel weird posting about trying for #3. Like it’s too much. Posting about baby 1, of course. Baby 2, yea…that’s acceptable. But baby 3….are you kidding?! I know it’s silly. But if you are a long time reader of this blog, you know my intention is to be open and transparent about my thoughts and feelings throughout everything. So, I am feeling my feelings. I’m sharing them. I am not judging them.
I’ll be back for more updates. Hoping for #partyof5 and baby3 (and a boy)
Ryan’s Ramblings 