The IVF Process

As I’ve said, I have been doing quite a lot of research about IVF, both medically and with people’s experiences. The actual process of IVF is pretty short when you consider how expensive it is.

Tests & diagnosis is what we’ve already done, really. We have a bit more testing to do, only so the team knows exactly how/what to do with our IVF treatment. While the steps are the same, there are different procedures for the different parts. You know, science and all! Austin’s sperm analysis on the 22nd and my ART screen on the 25th are the final steps before we begin. Right now, I am in suppression. They are making sure I don’t ovulate and that my cycle is controlled by them. This is so my cycle falls in line with our start date.

Next comes the ovarian stimulation. This is done with injections. Lots and lots of daily shots. This is when they will be monitoring my growing follicles, the size of them, and my hormone levels. Once they decide I’m ready for the next step, my retrieval will be scheduled.

Then, the egg retrieval. This is done under general anesthesia and is a surgery. One blog I read said that her nurse told her your ovaries after the egg retrieval are basically dried meatballs. So I will be recovering from surgery after this procedure. We are expecting this to take place sometime the week of April 25th. I found out this week that Austin isn’t allowed in the building except for when he gives his sample, which will be on the same day as my retrieval. The nurse will bring me to the car when I’m allowed to leave.

Egg retrieval

The next step is where the crazy science comes in—fertilization & embryo monitoring. The embryologist watches and monitors these little guys and will update us daily. Day 5 after fertilization is the goal for transfer. They want to make sure whatever is transferred is viable and the best.

Once we have reached the day 5, hopefully, I will go back in for the transfer. They will put the embryo in a catheter and shoot it into my uterus.. This is very similar to how they do the sperm in the IUI. They are also monitoring my uterine lining & the focus is on that and making it the most welcoming place for the embryo so implantation will take place.

Then, the dreaded two week wait. I will come in for a blood pregnancy test, then later that day, will receive a call with the results. I’ll know on transfer day which day the pregnancy test will be.

I’ve seen so may cute onesies for babies conceived through IVF that say something close to “made with lots of love & a little science”. This drives me absolutely crazy. If you are using IVF, that’s a fuck ton of science, not “a little”! Can someone please inform those that make these things of this fact?! LOL!

We are getting close to the 1 month mark to our start date! Crazy!

Quick Update & Realistic Money Sitch

Quick update! I got a call from OU today, and they are wanting some updated labs—thyroid & AMH (ovarian reserve). They aren’t concerned, but want to have updated data in order to know what to do for us. I just had labs done at my job, so that took care of my thyroid! WOOT! So I will be heading up there in the morning to get that taken care of.

Over the weekend, I applied for the 2 medication discount programs I have found—EMD Serono & ReUnite Assist. I have linked those for anyone reading this that is going through or may be going through IVF. I haven’t heard about ReUnite, but I did hear from EMD Serono! We qualified for a 25% discount on their meds. I’m not sure if I will be using any of theirs, but it’s worth a shot! I went to apply for a grant with the deadline being this week only to find out it’s a paper application that must be mailed & received by the due date (March 10th). So that was a bummer! If you are looking at the BabyQuest Foundation Grant, look at this as soon as you are thinking about IVF. They only take applications twice a year.

Now that I have versed myself with the IVF lingo and what is involved, my understanding of what to plan financially is much more clear. Our clinic offers a “package” that is $9580, which covers most of the “pre” stuff. This includes the appointments (bloodwork & ultrasound) while doing injections, egg retrieval, insemination of the eggs, embryologist fee & culture, and embryo transfer. This must be paid a week before April 16th. The rest of costs will be paid at the end of that specific appointment at “check out”. Austin’s updated semen analysis will be $150. My ART screen on the 25th is $580-$1000. The sperm work up for the actual procedure is $450. I think we will both have to have infectious disease testing ($160-$320 each), but I’m not 100% sure on that. Anesthesia, for the egg retrieval, will be $500-700. There’s no estimate for the preimplantation genetic testing (PGD) we may do, but I’ve seen that it costs over $1000. This is something we might decide to do, but aren’t sure. If we have enough embryos after transferring 1 or 2 (our doctor will talk about the pros and cons of each when we get there), we would like to freeze the embryos for future transfers. I’d hate to go through all this, have extra embryos (aka babies) just to be destroyed! The freezing is $800 through June and then will be $400 for each year after. I’m not sure if this is each embryo or all of them for one price. Things that we don’t have estimates for but will be paying—ovarian hyperstimiulation charge (I’m high risk for this), pregnancy test & OB ultrasounds, and maybe others. Some other things that we may want or need are assisted hatching, embryo glue, etc. This is just to our clinic.

Then the meds. The last visit, I got information about the meds. So I, of course, have done some digging. I started with my insurance. They, of course, will cover nothing on any of these meds. But they showed the “retail” cost, so that’s something, I guess! The injections I know I will take:
*Follistim (depending on dose) $997 or $1994
*Menopur $251
*Ganirelex Acetate $210
*Pregnyl $120
*Progesterone in Oil $2311 for a month; this will be taken every day from after the transfer through week 10 of pregnancy

I will call to pay for these & have them shipped sometime after March 25th, but in plenty of time before April 16th. As I do my ultrasounds and labs before egg retrieval, they could increase meds, add new ones, etc. When that happens, I will have to have those overnighted & paid for that day. There’s no telling if this will happen and how much it will cost. Hopefully, we will get help with the discount programs!

So, recap, we are looking at:
$9580 -Package
$150 -sperm analysis
$450 -sperm work up for IVF
$580-$1000 -ART screen
$160-320 -infectious disease testing?
$500-700 -anesthesia
$800 -embryo freeze
$997 or $1994 -med (Follistim)
$251 -med (Menopur)
$210 -med (ganirelex acetate)
$120 -med (pregnyl, trigger shot)
$2311 -med (progesterone 4 weeks)
$2311 -med (progesterone 4 weeks)

This brings our approximate total (averaging all of the price ranges and rounding the average of Follistim to $1,500) to $19,313. This month, we will be paying about $7,883, and then in April will be the remaining $11,430. YIKES! We have been putting money aside and have done some fundraising (GoFundMe, CashApp, and/or Venmo), which is about $9,305.23 total right now. This is in a savings account, so we will generate some interest. Right now, I have about $1500 left in my flex account. So looking at real numbers, and not estimates, we need to come up with about $8,507.77. This could end up being more or less at the end of the day.

There are loans, of course, but this is our last resort. We both have poor credit, so it is not a guarantee if we apply for anything. I have several tabs open currently of different IVF or medical specific loan options. Some do state minimum credit scores they will consider. Others give no indication. Of course, you don’t want to apply for 100s of loans, so I will have to narrow this down, if we must go this direction. There are no other grants we can apply for, so our only options are scrounging our money and donations with a last ditch effort with loans. Hopefully we will get the additional stimulus check, which will be $2,800 leaving our deficit at $5,707.77. This is the most overwhelming part of this entire process for me. I didn’t mean to have this post be entirely about money, but I wanted to give an update. I try to be as real and open about everything.

We have about 37 days until our start date, which means we have 30 days to find $8500ish. FUN!

The One Time I’m Excited for CD1

For those that aren’t following along and/or haven’t picked up the TTC (trying to conceive) world, CD1 is cycle day 1. CD1 is always the worst, the first day of your menses, period day 1. The day your body starts punishing you for not producing a life. It’s bad enough when you aren’t TTC, but its a whole other hell when you are TTC. There were times back when I was with my ex that I would just cry when I would start. Getting punished for not doing what you’ve been trying so hard to do.

So here I am, officially in CD1. Yay! The start of my period means I officially get to start prep for IVF and get our next steps. I’ve been researching like a mad woman, but I get more information about MY treatment. So with CD1, I call the clinic and see what they say. For me, I will start birth control on Wednesday, CD 3. I know this seems weird since it’s the opposite of what we are trying to do, but it’s a way to keep my cycle in their control. The next step is the “suppression”, meaning keeping my body from ovulating on its own. This is because they want ovulation to happen on their time. Everything is timed out, planned, and nothing is guess work or a mystery until it comes to the embryo implanting. I will take birth control, skipping the “placebo” pills, until we start injections.

The next step is what they call the “ART screen”. At this appointment, I will be given my calendar, treatment plan, schedule of medications, prescriptions, set all appointments, and have a mock transfer and exam. I think. I’m not super sure about the mock transfer. Either way, this is the appointment I can’t WAIT to have. Mine is schedule for March 25th. This appointment will cost $580-$1000, due when I check out, I assume. I think I will also have to do the infectious disease test, which is priced $160-320, which will also be due when I check out. I’l also be ordering my medications after this appointment, which will be paid when I order. So I’m looking at about $4000 around March 25th with the other $9500 or so two weeks later. They also need to do an updated sperm analysis with Austin. Last time, that was $150.

I got my 2nd dose of the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine last Monday, and that knocked me OUT! I have a lot to share, but in due time. Probably sometime now until March 25th!

3/1 Update

I went back to the clinic on Monday to test my progesterone levels to see if I ovulated. Again, my levels did not indicate ovulation. The cut off is 2, I can’t remember if it is above or below it that we want, but my levels were 2.1 last week and this week. So I had to start Provera on Monday to induce my period. Once I start my period, I will most likely go on birth control until our IVF start date.

I feel judged when I talk about how much IVF costs and how unfair it is. I feel like I can’t talk about it. But this is exactly why I started this blog. To be honest and unfiltered about our journey no matter what. We have around $9000 set aside right now. I got my first stipend for being nationally certified. I can’t use that to treat myself. I need a new set of tires and an alignment. I want a new GoPro. I’d like to do some home updates. Maybe plan a trip to Mexico now that the world opening seems imminent. But we can’t. We can’t even begin to think about anything other than IVF, bills, and necessities. Every moment, pretty much, is spent thinking about IVF. Trying to plan, trying to figure out work, trying to figure out how to get the money, trying to understand what to expect.

One thing that I’ve been thinking about is this…how many people could shell out $15,000 without flinching? Or shell it out in general? After many, many years of struggling financially, I’m finally in a place where I’m not struggling. Only to be looking at a treatment that will cost almost $20,000 to be paid upfront. How many people can do that?! I spend a lot of money on my health insurance every month, only for it to cover nothing towards IVF. Other states are requiring coverage for IVF, but of course, Oklahoma is not one of them. I could travel to a different state or different country for cheaper treatment. That would mean 2-3 weeks in that state or country and adds more risks to the process. It would mean a brand new team working on my treatment. The benefits do not outweigh the risks for us.

So here we are, about 6 weeks out. Based on my calculations, we are about $3,000 away from having everything paid for. There may be additional costs throughout. We may have to order more meds. There may be procedures or something that we didn’t expect or that weren’t calculated. So I’m thinking $3000-5000 is what we lack. I’m hoping. And I’m extra hoping we only need one cycle, because another cycle would be another $15,000+.

Quick Update 2/22/21

Went to OU today to test my progesterone levels. This was done to make sure I ovulated. I talked with the nurse for a while and got more detailed information on what to expect in the coming months. I’ll post about that later. There was so much info, I just recorded it. Later today, I got a call that my levels indicated I had not yet ovulated. So we are to continue intercourse every other day, and I go in next Monday (Mar 1) to test my levels again.

I had a post in the works, but had to update those of you that are following. My brain is spent for the day, so this is all you’re getting at the moment. 🤪

Our Journey in Numbers

There’s a lot I want to write about. For now, I want to share the “‘numbers” or visible aspects of our journey.

In 2013, my ex and I spent 2 years trying to conceive. I spent over a year driving to my gynecologist an hour away. Over the 2 years, I had many, many appointments, labwork, blood tests, etc. There are 2 widely used medications to induce ovulation: Femora and Clomid. During this stint of TTC, I did 6 rounds of each of these meds.

Our current journey of TTC with the love of my life, my soulmate, my rock. I can’t remember exactly when we “started trying”, but I’m using August 1 as the date. Here’s what that has looked like:
Months TTC: 30 months or 2 1/2 years…as of March 1, 31 months
21 months on meds (this is my first month not on meds since May 2019)
10 months of unmedicated TTC
17 months with the fertility specialist (reproductive endocrinologist, officially)
5 round of progesterone to induce a period
4 rounds of Clomid
10 rounds of Femara
10 HCG trigger shots
10 IUIs (intrauterine inseminations), 8 of those with COVID procedures, meaning ALONE
41.1 million sperms inseminated
5 rounds of progesterone post-IUI during the 2 week wait to aid with post-fertilization
27 negative pregnancy tests
19 ultrasounds to measure follicles
0 pregnancies & 0 babies
55 days until our IVF start date
48 days to pay $16,000

Each time we are sent the trigger shot, they send us extra supplies. We use a syringe, large needle, small needle, and alcohol pads each time. We are sent 2 syringes, 2 large needles, 2 small needles, and several alcohol pads. Below is a picture of the leftover supplies.

The following picture is from our sharps container, which are all of the used needles & syringes used to give the trigger shot.

When you want to say “don’t stress”, “just adopt”, or “I know how you feel, we tried for 6 months!”, please remember these images. These numbers. This is after many months of what normal people “try”.

Infertility sucks. It sucks that treatment is so expensive. If we lived in New York or other states, we could get IVF for free. Trying to conceive shouldn’t be hindered by socioeconomic status. It shouldn’t be an “elective” procedure. A friend of mine, her insurance company covered no fertility treatment, but fully covered gender reassignment. We can get into political or religious arguments about gender reassignment, but as humans, we can all agree that reproduction and treatment to aid in it should be a human right and a priority for medical insurance. As you can probably tell, I’m stressing and focused on the money for IVF. The medications, hormones, appointments, etc are going to be a lot to handle, but I know I can manage that. The financial obligation is the most challenging aspect of this right now. It consumes almost my entire life while we wait for April 16th.

Must be the Money

I finally sat down and researched all financing options for IVF. Let me tell you, it’s even more depressing than when I was just perusing what was out there. Apart from medical insurance coverage and out of pocket cash, you basically have 3 options: grants, scholarships, and loans.

I found a site that had all grants available for Oklahoma. Of the 20+ grants listed, only 2 of those I could apply for. Of all the grants for IVF, there are 3 grants we can apply for. I found no scholarships. Some of the grants weren’t taking applications because a lack of funding. Most of the grants have application fees. Of the 3 we can apply for, if we do all of them, it’s going to cost us $120. Yep. We have to pay to ask for money. 😑

There were 4 different medication discount programs to apply for. This is great, except I don’t know what specific meds I’ll be prescribed or what/if they will be covered by insurance. These programs are brand specific and some of them you have to submit the prescription. So that’s out until I have to order the meds.

Our final option, other than somehow scraping the money together, is financing. There are some medical loans, IVF specific loans, and other personal loans. With all the financial mess we have gone through, our credit sucks. I’m hoping we are able to get approved if we have to rely on this. We may just be paying a shit ton in interest and be paying it off foreverrrrrr. The other thing suggested is taking out a home equity loan or second mortgage. WTF?! For us to TRY to get pregnant, we need a loan or take out a 2nd mortgage. 😳😑 I won’t go into my frustrations and annoyances about this whole IVF thing and how ridiculously expensive it is.

Instead, here’s my update! I go in to the clinic on the 22nd. They will do a progesterone test to make sure I ovulated this cycle. The nurse said I will probably be on birth control my next cycle. They do this to control the cycle because the shots start at a specific party of the cycle, which I’m to begin April 16th. So other than that, all I can focus on is that we have 2 months to find $16k! 🤷🏼‍♀️

Welp…

Well, fuuuuuck me. Yep, you guessed it. Another fucking negative pregnancy test. I really have nothing else to say about this. I’ve been sitting here just annoyed with nothing else to say. Lol!

Yesterday was actually test day. So I peed in my cup. Then searched for a pregnancy test. Apparently, we didn’t have any. I could have sworn Austin got a 2 pack last month. He thought so too. This is just proof that we’ve been doing this WAY too long. So Austin went to the closest gas station to get a test, as my cup of pee hung out. 🤣 The gas station was a fail, so Austin went to Walmart but had to wait until it opened at 7am. We finally did the test, just like always. Then we got this…

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Yep. Same feels. Just ridiculous. So we waited until this morning to test again. I’d rather get the above than the “NOT PREGNANT” we got.

So now, we focus on IVF. I will call OU once I start my period, which will be in 2-3 days now that I’ve stopped the progesterone. When I call, they will tell me what to do in order to prep for our IVF cycle. Typically, it will be birth control to maintain a cycle. I think March will also be birth control. This is just from my research, so I don’t know for sure yet.

I was really hoping that today I would be able to splurge & shop a bit. If we were pregnant today, I would get $1500 back from OU and we have about $4000 set aside But noooooooo! We have to pay even more money to try to have a baby. FUCK. And now, no discretionary spending. At all. It’s going to be bills, necessities, and IVF until we have $16,000. Y’all. We have 78 days until our IVF start date, which means we have 71 days until we have to have paid $9500 and who knows how long for the rest. I assume it’ll be about a week or 2 before the start date when we order the meds, so about 64 days for the $3000-5000 to pay for meds. No fucking pressure, right?! UGH.

Prayers, baby dust, and sharing our story would be appreciated! 💕

The Stress Myth

I hear over and over and over “relax” “I bet it’s stress” etc about infertility and trying to get pregnant. I get it. When you hear “we’ve been trying for 5 years…” you think “damn! Focusing on making something happen for that long?!? Just chill and it’ll happen!!” By now, I hope you have realized that 1) it’s not that simple 2) it’s not always a constant focus.

Austin and I are Garmin fans. Our watches have tons features and data points they collect. One of these is “stress level”. Throughout the day, there are “relax reminders” of the number is too high. Here’s how they figure this out…

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So, I have screenshot my stress data and posted below. We have been trying since September 2018. We started meds to help May 2019. We started seeing a specialist October 2019. To give you some reference points. I included data from when Garmin added this data point. These are months at a glance.

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As you can see (I hope🤣), my stress levels have stayed pretty consistent from the beginning and through the years. There are definitely times of high stress, but I hope this keeps you from telling people struggling with infertility that stress is the cause and a factor. It’s not helpful and it’s frustrating. With all of the emotions and hormones of fertility treatment, hearing this is infuriating. If you’re lucky, the response will be a smile and nod, but if you catch her during an “idgaf day”, you deserve whatever is coming, especially after reading this. Yes, stress affects your body in many ways. I am an advocate for teaching about that. However, when going through infertility, you are doing everything you can to “fix” your body. On behalf of all infertility warriors, IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF STRESS!!

Started this Post on Wednesday…

I began this post on Wednesday morning before work. I meant to finish it and post that evening. With the events of that day, this post could wait. Instead of working on this, Austin and I watched history being made in response and in spite of the American insurgents wreaking havoc on the capitol and democracy.

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Wow. The support Austin & I have received in the last 36 hours is incredible. In a time where I’ve felt so alone and isolated, this is exactly what I needed. This whole infertility journey has sucked. Adding the COVID chaos has made it even worse. But wow. I only share my blog on Facebook. I still feel weird posting about current struggles for all to read as they scroll. In my brain, if you are reading my blog, you care enough to know. I don’t know. I know that’s weird and messed up. 🤣 But with creating the GoFundMe page for IVF, Austin openly posted about our struggle and shared the campaign. With both of these posts, we have received so much support! People have been messaging us about their infertility journey, sending love, and sharing info/tips for financing IVF. The financial support is more clearly seen by all, but these things are not. But the money 👉🏼 Almost $500 raised in less than 2 days! What?!? That’s crazy!!! I am just overwhelmed with everyone’s support!

Since posting on Monday, I’ve done a lot of research. If you know anything about me, I love to research. I dig. I investigate. I hyper-focus (thanks ADHD). So I’m understanding what IVF will look like and what to expect even more. I shared my findings, so far, with Austin last night. After that, I felt so much lighter.

Monday 1/11– Today was ultrasound day for IUI #10. We basically accidentally did this IUI cycle. There was miscommunication over the holiday with the nurses, so we are going with it. We look for follicles that are over 16mm. Usually when I go in, I have ones that are 18-22, but today, I had one at 24 and one at 14 (both on the left). 24 is HUGE!!! So, as long as my progesterone level wasn’t too high, the plan was to trigger as soon as possible and insemination tomorrow. My progesterone was nice and low, so we are sticking with that plan! I got home a little early so I could do the trigger shot early. Normally, we do the trigger shot at 11pm, so I am in bed before it starts working its way through me. We did the shot about 3 hours ago, & I am REALLY feeling it. Like this…

I am just so ready to be pregnant. Those hormones are NOTHING compared to going through fertility treatment. Up, down, up, down. My body, my skin, and my mental health are affected. My boobs are HUGE and keep getting bigger. I’ve gained so much weight. I could attempt to lose weight, but my mental health is more important than my weight. Especially considering the hormone fluctuation and COVID. My skin is like a teenager’s! I’m constantly broken out. I’m just ready for all of this to be worth it. You know?! This all sucks, but when I’m holding my precious baby in my arms, it will ALL be worth it. I’ve gotta keep my mind on that image.

As of right now, we have raised $570 towards our IVF cycle. Today, I paid $500 towards our cycle. So far, that’s about $2100 of the $15000 or so. If we get pregnant with this IUI, we will get our money paid toward IVF reimbursed, so that’s exciting. I’m not holding my breath for the IUI as we have had 9 failed ones, so our fundraising efforts will continue. I’ll be posting later about the cost of our treatment so far. I created a spreadsheet to document everything. I’m a nerd, I know!

Fingers crossed for tomorrow! May the egg release and the sperms swim fast!